BANISH ANXIETY; Now why would I want to do that?

BANISH ANXIETY?

NOW WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?

Martial Arts and life in general produce anxiety. It is something we need to address. But how? As an ex-agoraphobic (ex- is there such a thing?) I know a thing or two about anxiety. The heightened sensations, the vague and sometimes not so vague feelings of fear. The awareness of one’s self. The panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere. The trembling limbs and churning stomach. The fear. Always the fear.

I, along with many other sufferers, searched for a way out. You know, a way out of the fear. Book after book promised to banish anxiety forever. To release me from

the fear. To free me forever and make me never afraid again. I chased this ever-disappearing horizon and hoped that when I caught it I would be able to don a Superman suit and never be scared again. I was barking up the wrong

tree; or perhaps chasing the wrong horizon.

Fear, nervousness, anxiety or just being scared. To me these are all the same things. When I was in the middle of the bad breakdown that is the subject of this book, I was

constantly scared. My body was weak from the incessant battering my nervous system was taking. I was forever agitated, frightened or on the verge of panic. I turned to

the world of books for some way out of this hell I had found myself in. Some of the books where excellent and really did the trick. Yet others, I see now, did just the

opposite. They encouraged me to fight my fear, bash my anxiety and do away with my nervousness for good.

I tried there methods but all that happened is that my resistance caused more tension, bringing with it extra turmoil and misery. You see, the harder I tried to rid myself of fear, the more scared I became when it didn’t disappear. And then the penny dropped. The idea isn’t to rid ourselves of anxiety, but to control it, not let it control us. To be anxious at the right times.

We are blessed with a wonderful thing called the fight or flight system. It invokes in us the same bodily reactions as an anxiety attack. You see, when we are in any danger, our body is filled with a chemical cocktail made up of such delights as adrenalin, cortisol, nor adrenalin and endorphins. These beauties are sent to help us and yet most of the time they make us feel dreadful, threatened and fill us with the urge to run away. Sometimes, this is exactly what we need.

Why do we need it? Well imagine, there you are with your girlfriend, Saturday night, having a great time. You’re in the local kebab house finishing of the night in style and in walks Herbert and his gang of nomads. Or is that no marks? Luckily for you, the Hospital was able to give you a miracle, once in a lifetime operation to rid you of you greatest survival mechanism. They have removed your adrenal gland. You

no longer feel fear…

Herbert smirks as he approaches you, intent on making you the featured guest at an aggravated assault. You smile, even grin at him. He’s now in your face, spitting and

cursing, fist clenched and all bad breath!

“Hi Herbert!” you offer. On lookers cringe. They know what’s coming as they’ve seen Herbert in action before. You haven’t and your lack of instinctual fear prevents you from reading his intentions. “Good to see you, you old fool!”

You laugh in Herbert’s face and compliment him on his choice of flick knife. “Ahh. Sheffield steel, only the best for you eh? You big ape. What you gonnah do with it then?”

Herbert laughs along. “Stick in you.” He says; then he stops laughing.

“Really? Wow how about that?” you offer. Still no fear. You recognise not a drop of danger. People are now pushing each other out of the way to get out the door.

He stabs you. Plain and simple. He has stabbed you. You look down at the blood seeping from the wound in your stomach.

“Look at that” you say. “I’m bleeding. Oi mate, where’s my kebab?” you ask before passing out on the floor.

Your family only hope that the doctor who removed your adrenal gland can stitch you up in time to put it back. You’ll need it for next time.

If only you had had the fear. So now we know why we have it. But what about when we take it to the extreme? What about when it takes over our lives and dominates every waking moment?

The following could be a typical incident for someone who suffers from anxiety attacks;

You’re in the local kebab house. You look across the road to the bus stop. It’s milling with people waiting for the last bus home. Soon you will join them.

“Christ, look at all those people, I’ll make a right fool of myself, and I’ll panic and lose control. The road looks massive. I’ll never make it, my legs feel like jelly”

Coincidently your legs turn to jelly at this thought. It’s the adrenalin being released into your blood stream that has just caused that. The same adrenalin that could of

saved you from Herbert had you had it at the time. However, as your legs weaken you muse that you were right about your jelly legs so you must be right about not

making it across the road with such weak legs.

You have just initiated an anxiety attack and fear fantasies are about to come fast and furious.

“Look at all them people. God I hope I don’t see someone I know, I’ll have to stop and talk to them. I just want to get home!”

You start to sweat and your stomach churns. You approach the bus stop, head down. The by now, defunct kebab sits soggy in your hand. You’re not going to eat it,

you feel too sick. You just want to get on the bus. And then you are on it. Made it, great stuff. But then you see the doors shut and you feel trapped. In a moving metal box with all these people? You’ll never do it!

The adrenalin sweeps viciously around your body, as you start to feel trapped. By Christ, you’re going mad. You will probably do something crazy or embarrass yourself. Possibly stand up and shout out. You’ve heard about people who do this sort of thing,

you are bound to do it (even though you are not a sufferer of tourette’s syndrome and it is this condition that makes these poor people act like this, not panic).

However, the thought that you might act in this manner brings with it another bout of adrenalin and you are now in a fully blown panic attack. You just want to get home.

Keeping you’re head down to stop the room from spinning, you notice how hard your heart is beating and then it all becomes clear. You are having a heart attack.

You have got to get off this bus so you can have the attack in the privacy of your own home. Surely though, if you are going to have a heart attack, you would want one in a

crowded place where help may be available. You don’t think this though, you are not thinking rationally at all.

Somehow though, you make it home. You collapse, exhausted on the chair and try to slow your breathing down.

“Christ that was bad!” you tell yourself. Eventually, you calm down and sit in the quite with your own thoughts. “What if it happens again?” you ask yourself.

And there it starts. With that one thought another slow trickle of adrenalin is

released and fear takes over. You’ve just started your next attack. You become afraid of a repeat of this episode. You become afraid to go out into a public place. You become afraid you are losing your mind, or having a stroke or a heart attack or a brain tumour. You become afraid you are dying. You become afraid.

So what’s the answer? Should we have fear or not? If we don’t, Herbert keeps stabbing us. If we do, we have trouble nipping down to the shops for a loaf of bread.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. We don’t want to banish anxiety; we just want to control it, to manage our fears.

If you are suffering from an overworked adrenal gland aided by a runaway imagination, try these few methods;

You are feeling stressed and anxious. Ask yourself why? Look around you and assess the situation (if Herbert’s in the room get the hell out of there!).

Where are you? Who is with you? What is the reality of your situation and what are your imaged dangers? There usually aren’t any real dangers, just your fear fantasies.

It is our fear of the feelings of fear that create the image of danger that kicks off our adrenalin release (you may have to read this sentence about ten times before it makes sense. I know I did after I wrote it!)

Take some nice deep breaths, and whilst counting to ten (not out aloud, people will think your mad) think of nothing at all. Just focus on the nothingness in front of

you. Then give yourself nice calm thoughts, reassuring yourself you are fine. Slow everything down and take your time.

In a worst-case scenario, such as having one of these moments in a meeting or training session, you can excuse yourself and step outside for some fresh air. Don’t pay any worry to what people will think. Imagine what you would think if somebody asked you to excuse them why they got some air. You may be mildly concerned that they were all right but would not think any less of the person. People will react the same way to you, they won’t think you are going mad.

Keep up the inner dialogue, you’re fine, you are in no danger and you are certainly not going mad. You are just having an anxious episode, there is no need to run, just let it pass. It will.

In the long term, if you are feeling like this constantly, get some help. It doesn’t necessary have to be a doctor. Enlist a good friend as a support system, someone to let off steam to. Stop letting the little things in life become a mountain that irritates and bothers you.

So what if that guy in the flash car just pulled out in front of you? So what if the people in McDonalds never get your order right? Do something positive, because a positive attitude produces the positive results that we want, the results we deserve. Learnt to paint, write, sing or play an instrument. Take up a martial art or join the local rugby team. Don’t be so afraid!

We all have the ability to control our thoughts, our lives. We all get the same number of days in the week. We can spend them worrying about the dreaded disaster that never quite appears to happen or we can spend them living our life how we choose. As long as we have the gift of fear to aid us, and as long as we control that gift and don’t let it control us, then we can do, and have exactly what we want.

You can get busy living or you can get busy worrying. It’s up to you. And stop hanging around dodgy kebab houses.